Do Not Let Manipulation Manipulate You
Manipulation comes at play when people want things done their way. Specially using unfair means to their advantage no matter who gets hurt in the process. We manipulate objects in accordance with the way we want it to be. Example, "Oh, this pair of blue jeans is too plain. Let me rip it a little in the thigh portion." Take it as a figurative hint on what can happen if manipulation is done on humans.
The following are signs that can help you see them through and through. If you've been victim to the upcoming revelations and still are, all the warning alarms should go off by now.
Questioning Yourself A Lot: People may say that questioning your perspective is a good thing. But questioning your potential and memory is not. And a manipulator can do just that. You can simply see it as doubting yourself and yes, it's a poison. Doubting your version of yourself can shift your perspective on a much unstable scale. It can give birth to a negative cycle of thinking. You will literally talk yourself out of what you aspired to do. Cause you believe that taking the safest route is the right way. But have you ever thought that maybe one day this decision will crash with reality? You wouldn't be able to find happiness cause you zipped up your potential. Don't only question your own perspective, start question why others are filling you with their ideas and views. What would they gain from what they are saying? In cases of past memories, manipulators may alter a past event you swear is not accurate from what you remember. If you have to question on what happened and defend your own sanity, first of all know that this is psychological manipulation. They'll persuade you to think that what you remember is incorrect. What are they trying to protect or conceal? Don't try to argue with them, since there's no point to it. They might probably be sarcastic about whatever you pitch them. There's no changing their minds. But know what you remember happened is not altered. At least if you're keeping it real.
The "Always Disappointed" Attitude: No matter what you do, there will be someone to point out your ways do not please them in some way or the other. They will always be disappointed, cold or simply find excuses to blame you. They are basically trying to toy with your emotions so that you falter with your progress and mindset. That's how they trap you in a situation to get an upper hand. Or at least make you feel uncomfortable. First of all, do not take their trash talk personally. But do not excuse their behaviour, no matter how right they think they are. Second of all, tell them how you feel about their behaviour. And you do not need to react right away or ever give a positive reaction to keep them quiet. Listen from one ear, out the other. When they'll notice that you're not playing as they want you to, they'll possibly leave you alone. And hunt for another victim to punch off their guilt trips. God save their souls.
Being Scared A LOT: You will definitely be in fear if a manipulator is coercing you to do things that you don't want to do. Manipulators find ways to make you sign contracts and make decisions not as per to your wish. You don't have to rush in cause they are incessantly pressuring you. Tell them that you'll think about it and get back to them later. Next, ACTUALLY give yourself some time to think about what you're about to do. You'll save yourself from being sucked into something that you don't want to be a part of. And know when someone drapes you with unreasonable pressure that something's fishy. In cases of emergencies, you may need to decide then and there but that's not the usual case. So take time, think it through and then decide.
Favours, favours and more favours: Yes favours. But what's wrong with that? People ask for favours all the time. Even you have to ask for some when in need. But that's not what a manipulator does with the concept of favours. They will start off small just like the rest of the sincere minds. They'll go, "Could you please do this for me?", "Could you please do that?", "Oh you're a life saver!!". Yes, they also know how to sweeten up the appreciation performance. So that you'll be motivated enough to do the next favour in line. With time, they will slither their way up to bigger favours which will cost you a lot in return. They might even blackmail you to do their deeds. In simple words, big ridiculous favours. To save yourself, it isn't rude to say "no", especially when you politely decline them. They will find a way to break their initial massive favours to digestible chunks, so that you say "yes". Consider what that favour is and why they want you to do it. Maybe only you can do it? Maybe they just love persuading you to do things? You never know. If they keep pestering you to turn their requests into reality and you're tired of it, verbally guide them on how they themselves can get it done. Just hope that they stop right after you tell them that you're busy at first.
Bully You: Manipulators also love to witness when you hit rock-bottom. They'll sprinkle in criticisms when it's not needed. Again, as favours it starts small and later they get to the bigger stuffs - bully you without any mercy. Most of us do not have the best of pep talks with ourselves to get through in life. Hence, we end up thinking that they're right or become severely self conscious. And that's how you lose confidence in everything you do. They go through the effort of bullying you just to ensure that they have control over you long term. So make sure that the people you deal with often speak kindly to you and have the sense of empathy. Open up that they need to stop being mean. Put them back in their places, if you can. If they laugh it off, getting a third party help is nothing to be ashamed of.
Emotional Blackmail: This form of manipulation goes unnoticed. In the moment we can't even recognize that someone is trying to emotionally blackmail us. Such blackmailing may sound something like this, "I will kill myself if you break up with me", "I will die if you leave me for someone else". They use similar kinds of threats to control you. They will try to make you feel shameful if you don't cater to their needs. This is the most toxic way of manipulation. Try to avoid it at all cost. Know that no one's well being is completely your responsibility. We are all responsible for our own choices and in all our own life. For example, if you're in a relationship with someone who manipulates you for their needs, know that it's okay to step away from them. And if it's not safe, you don't have to give them the reason. It's recommended to talk things out before terminating a relationship. But situations might compel you to better keep the reason with you cause of how they might take it. Just apologize and walk away and keep help in hand if you know they'll do something insane. Tell their parents or siblings about what happened and how they used to behave so they can keep a look out for them and help them cope.
Manipulators will surround you like a swarm of flies. It's all on your will and the way you shield yourself from their stings. Know what the signs are and stay safe.
We are on a mission to help women learn, grow, connect, explore opportunities, earn and build an identity. Be a part of this movement for Women Empowerment and get access to many rewarding opportunities.