Do Mother's or Father's Day leave you with a Bitter Taste?
Parents are more than often portrayed to be great wonderful beings and while posts of their greatness pour down social media especially on days internationally dedicated to them, there still are a great section of people or children who are left with bitter memories which can't even be acknowledged because hello! Mummy is supposed to be an angel (certified by social norms)! and if you try talking about what they do to you then you are either mistaken or a very horrible person for not being grateful to your birth givers and care takers. Do Bad parents exist? Isn't this question as stupid as asking, "Do bad people exist?" Don't we often forget that parents are human beings too? Humans who make mistakes? Humans with insecurities, ego, pride and fear? If you belong to this section of people who are or have suffered under narcissist parent(s) then you might be able to relate to these words.
Ways to Cope with a Narcissistic Parent
No one is perfect. But narcissism is not an excuse that a child should overlook. It can do more damage than imaginable. Narcissistic parents unfortunately never come eye to eye with their behaviour. Rendering a child in a confused state, wondering why they are being treated a certain way. At one point of their lives, they will look up for answers and how they could escape this painful experience. This blog post could play as a guide.
Here are some ways you can cope with your narcissistic parents:
Beware of their Competitiveness- Some parents criticize their children for the smallest of things. Or they try to always remind them that they will always be second best, being nothing more than their parent's shadow. This has a major impact on the child. They will doubt if they are deserving of love and appreciation. The parents may possibly be in denial of their own behaviour and think their behaviour is normal and just. What the victim has to be aware of is the competitive behaviour of their parents. Know how the narcissist's motive is to remind you that you're not good enough. They would go as far as never acknowledge your efforts. This is a great way to start self adjusting and protecting yourself against such attacks. You have to learn about the tactics of the narcissist before you shield yourself from their insensitive approaches.
Learn What's Conditional and Unconditional Love: Narcissistic parents count every drop of love and affection they deliver to their child. When does this "love" of theirs starts to trickle down towards your cup? Only when you do something worthy that brings pride to them, making them feel good. The time you're not bringing them this pride, you're pretty much non-existent for them. On the other hand, unconditional love is present even when you're at your absolute worst. You don't have to pay for it to earn some. Know this difference will help you not tolerate their abuse and work your way to protect yourself from their encroachments.